Art journaling became very important to me a little over 2 years ago when I became very depressed. The thought of creating art, let alone getting out of bed in the morning, was physically and mentally overwhelming. While those were some of the worst days of my life, I’m really thankful for them because in the depths of that sadness I learned a lot about myself as an artist.
I literally could not even handle looking at a blank piece of copy paper. To me, it looked gigantic, empty, and void of all hope. But I didn’t know what else to do; art was all I had and I knew I had to do it no matter what.
So, I decided to work smaller. I bought myself a little 4×6 notebook, something that could fit in my purse, under my pillow, in my car, or anywhere else I might need it. Not threatening at all!
I resolved to fill every single one of those pages. For me. Not for Tumblr, not for Facebook, not for mom and dad, not for any single person except myself. I needed to be selfish and indulgent. To create art for the sake of creating art, to express all those thoughts and feelings that were eating me alive.
Every single drawing in this notebook is a self portrait, even if it’s a flower or a boy or a single word. They’re all a part of me. If I have anything to do with it, most of the entries in that notebook will never be seen until the day I’m dead and buried. Some are silly and selfish, some are still painful to look at, and some of them kind of amaze me.
Here are some of the entries from 2010 that I’ve decided to share:
Obviously, a lot of different stuff going on there. But just having that little place to escape to helped me immeasurably. I experimented with tons of different styles, medias, and ideas I never thought of pursuing. I think not caring how the entries turned out made it a lot easier to take the cap off of my creativity.
Even though I don’t journal as much as I used to, it’s still essential to my life as an artist. I think every artist needs an escape.
Especially now that I’m doing art professionally and I have clients who need their pieces to look a certain way, I really need that time and place where I can create whatever the hell I want, where I can be snarky, sad, happy, funny, rude, or just flat out weird. It’s so important to stay true to all of these things about me and nurture them, because if I’m not, well, what the hell’s the point?
Obviously, I don’t have as much time to go all out on them like I used to, but I still have fun with ’em!
Haha…life is so filled with ups and downs. I really don’t know how I’d handle it all without art. I really and truly feel like I would die. So it’s a pretty damn good thing I keep drawing!
So if any of you are experiencing an artist’s block, going through some hard times, or are totally frustrated with how your art is turning out, get yourself an art journal. Just do it. Don’t think, just create. I swear. You’ll learn some incredible stuff about yourself.
Until next time! ♥
The gift that keeps on givin’.
the tiny hobo 